December 3, 2010
Once again I have stumbled across the problem that any other human being has. I put my hopes in other people. Why do we not get it? Time after time we put our hopes in people and again and again we get disappointed. Why don't we get change what we do? Why don't we try and put our hopes somewhere else rather than the same place and hope that maybe just maybe things will change the next time? It doesn't make sense why we set ourselves up for pain over and over. Our God is an incredible God. He does not force anything on us. Obviously things with Him would be easier, but as humans we choose to do things our way over and over. How incredibly patient our God is! He lets us make the choice. I am tired of putting my hopes in people and being disappointed every time. I want to learn to put all my hopes in my Savior. He never disappoints. I want to change my ways and stop hoping for a flawless human to come into my life. I am now looking to my flawless God.
November 17, 2010
Why is life full of disappointment and burdens? When God said life with Him wouldn't be easy I didn't realize that in a way my life would be harder. As a follower of Christ not only are my actions supposed to display Christ likeness, but so are my thoughts and feelings also. That is so incredibly hard. I am disappointed, but cannot blame anyone because they no nothing of my thoughts or expectations. I think I am starting to understand why God says, "Give Me everything and put all your expectations in Me." Because God will never disappoint us with His character. Our God is a flawless God. How incredible is that? We may be disappointed with His decisions, but that is only disappointment from our plans not succeeding. But what about His plans? God knows better. He never gives us reason to be disappointed in His plans, because He has our life planned out from the day our heart starts beating until the day it stops. I will not accept this disappointment any longer because my plans did not succeed. God's plan is succeeding.
October 12, 2010
What is life cracked up to be? Does God intend for us to be stressed throughout our whole life? Does God allow these activities in our life to overwhelm us? Does God know that these everyday activities overwhelm and take over our lives sometimes? Does God know that the littlest things can throw our world upside down and paralyze us? I don't think any of this was God's plan when He created us. I think God created us with the purpose of us being full of life and joy. God desires us to have a life that is lived for Him. How can we live a life that God intended when everyday activities get in the way? How are we supposed to live a life of purpose in our society we have today? I am overwhelmed in every area of my life. I honestly don't know where God fits in all this. I don't understand how to live my life for Christ during this season of my life. I have been told over and over how Christians are supposed to live, but why doesn't anyone ever talk about the everyday issues we face? Issues like an overwhelming load of homework, a relationship not going well, a meltdown, a bad teacher, looking for a job, and so many more. These are the areas in our life that we struggle with the most because we face them everyday; they are our reality. What is God doing in my life right now? Is my Maker refining me into who He created me to be? I pray that God teaches me how to live me life focused on Him. I pray that God sends me peace. I pray that God teaches me to live my life according to His perfect will. God this is all yours. I don't know what you want with me, but I give all my worries, fears, anxiety, plans, my life, all to you. You have it all.
September 27, 2010
Here I am saying the cliche phrase: Depression hurts, but it is so true. It is such a strange thing to experience. It is like there is this shield over you where you disconnect from the world and those around you. You try to have deep, meaningful conversations but sometimes they feel fake because you are not sure if you truly believe what you are saying. You used to believe it, but right now you are not so sure. It is a very confusing state to be in. Things just don't appear the way they were before. It is so painful because you feel so empty and alone. I fully know God allows these things and He never said it would be easy, but I never knew it would hurt this much either. It is such a struggle trying to keep your faith and focus on God when you feel like everything else around you is crashing down. Today a song keeps playing over and over in my head. I keep hearing the same line again and again. It brings me comfort and hope. It is well with my soul. It just gives me this picture that everything is going to be okay.
September 26, 2010
I think that God sometimes takes us into the hard times to draw us back to Him. I believe that He breaks us down so He can mold us into people He desires us to be. Yet, O LORD, you are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand. Isaiah 64:8 God allows good times and bad times to come into our lives because He knows that we are not consistent beings. He knows that we will never remain in love with Him constantly. He knows that the bad times teach us and mold us to be the people we are created to be. God can take me into the hard times because I know that He is with me. He is using the bad times for good. God is an intelligent God with an incredible plan and will for my life. Take me where you want, Lord. I will follow you. Mold me. Refine me. Shape me. I know your will is perfect. I trust you.
September 22, 2010
Why do I fear? Why do I allow myself to be taken over and paralyzed by fear? Why does fear have such control on my life? God says fear no one but me, your Protector. When we are face to face with our fears we must feel it and then move forward in faith trusting God will protect us. God promises that He is with us when we are afraid. For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. Isaiah 41:13 He will help. He is not a God that abandons, He is a faithful God. When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me? Psalm 56:3-4. I will not be controlled by the enemy. I will take captive my thoughts for they are God's not the enemy's. I will not fear because God promises that He is with me. If my Protector, Daddy, Redeemer, Savior, and Healer is with me, then why should I be afraid? I am safe. I am free from the enemy. The Glory of God has defeated the night. I am safe. All pain is over as He draws me closer. I am free.
September 21, 2010
Satan attacks. I came to the realization today that Satan attacks and he attacks with purpose. He attacks to destroy. He does everything in his power to wear me down. Satan can attacks my physical health, my mental state, my heart, my soul, my dreams, anything. But God still has everything. The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet. The grace of our Lord Jesus be with you. Romans 16:20 Once I gave my heart to Christ, He promised to protect it. My prayer for today is that God would capture me. I prayed, "God, you completely have me. Capture my mind. Capture my dreams. Capture my body. Capture my soul. Capture my heart. Capture my life." As I was praying I finally understood something about Satan. He can mess with mind, my dreams, my body, my soul, my heart, and my life, but he has no capture over me. Christ has captured me since the day I gave Him my life, everything. Christ is holding my dreams, my mind, my soul, my heart, everything in His hands. Satan can mess with me, but he cannot overtake me or demolish me or take away who I have become in Christ because I am covered by the blood of Christ and no harm can come to me.
September 20, 2010
Why is it that the times when you feel abandoned by God you feel abandoned by everyone? I know God hasn't abandoned me and won't ever abandon me, but sometimes He feels distant. I know His love and grace is surrounding me completely. I have faith I am not alone. Sometimes I feel abandoned though by the people I love the most, I feel more disappointed and betrayed because they are the ones I trust the most and look to the most. When I need help, I go to them. But I think this feeling of abandonment comes from my distance from God. When God doesn't feel present in my life, when the one person that promises to never abandon or disappoint me feels distant, how can I not feel the same way towards people around me? Loved ones will always disappoint me and will never be able to fulfill my needs, but God can. God is the fullfiller of my soul. The Joy of my life. The One that will always unconditionally love me. I find peace knowing I will never be disappointed by the One that is most precious to me.
August 30, 2010
August 22, 2010
I find peace knowing that I am loved by Christ. I have a Daddy that loves me as me. I am called to beLOVED by God and to love others as He did. My Daddy calls me beLOVED; I am His and He is mine. "beLOVED", my Daddy calls, "come take my hand, together we will love the world, expecting nothing back."