January 27, 2011

I will not fight back with a weapon, but with a greater force: love.

I am burdened and my heart is heavy. I feel defeated by the enemy. The weight of the world lies on my shoulders. I feel as if I am slowly and quietly sinking into the ground, disappearing from everybody and everything I know. Satan has slowly conquered me, wearing me down one fight at a time. He has destroyed my strength I once knew, the strength that was once given to me by My Lord. He has destroyed my confidence in who I am, the identity I once held, given to me by the Greatest of Kings. He has destroyed my courage, the courage once bestowed to me by the Conqueror of all mankind. Satan has fed lies to me that I believed. Yes, I did believe every single lie Satan fed me. I was like a fish in the sea deceived by the bait on a hook. Except I didn't learn from the first time, I believed that maybe, just maybe something good could come out from that hook. I became weaker and weaker as I was deceived over and over. I was completely broken down to nothing, I could no longer fight with my own strength. I needed something or someone bigger and greater than me that could fight this fight. I had no choice but to fall back into the arms of My Father. I stumbled back, tripping and falling on my way, as tears ran down my face, ashamed of my foolishness. My Daddy took me back with more grace than I ever knew He possessed. He fought my fight, I never had to do it alone. I thought that I had to fight my own battles, alone. I was very wrong, my Daddy wanted to fight with me. I now rest in His arms, free from the enemy's lies for now. This fight is not just mine, it is My Protector's fight too. Together we will fight back, but not with weapons. We will fight back with the most powerful force there is, love. 


No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:37-39

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