April 25, 2011

What's worth my life?

It's has been way too long since I have blogged. I have been in a stagnant state. I am in school (which I am loving) and I am continuing everyday doing the safe thing. I absolutely hate that. I feel like every time I am in school I let time pass before me. I do that because I am not good in school, I really struggle to get decent grades. Studying, homework, papers, test, all of it takes up all my time. That is not okay with me at all. What about time for my relationships? What about time with my Lord? When I am school I don't have that time so maybe that means something needs to change. My life is short. I could die as I type this out or tomorrow or in a few years. I have no idea when I will leave this earth so I might as well live it to the fullest. Is it really worth living my life for something that doesn't matter? I only have one purpose in life. I only have one reason to live. My Savior, my Redeemer, my Healer, my Daddy, He is the reason I live. Maybe it is time for me to cut down on my units in school simply so I can spend time with my Daddy. I want to pursue the Lord. I want to know Christ as He knows me. I want to serve and give to others as Christ served and gave. Christ gave the ultimate sacrifice: death. He took every single sin of every single person: past, present, and future and carried the weight on His shoulders. He was tormented, beat, stabbed, wiped, mocked, humiliated, and killed. His hands and feet were literally nailed into planks of wood. 1 Peter 4:1. How can I be so selfish with my time when Jesus was selfless with his life? He sacrificed absolutely everything for me and all I do is tell Him I don't have time for Him. Who am I to not sacrifice? I don't even deserve my life, yet God chose to give me grace. He decided to love on me. I want to give up my selfish ways. I was put on this earth to shine the love and sacrifice of Christ. I want people to know me as the girl that gave everything up. The girl that sacrificed everything. The girl that loved holding nothing back and expecting nothing back as Christ did. The girl that gave grace and never stopped forgiving. The girl that shined Christ's love. That is the girl I want to be.

My life verse has always been 1 John 4:19 because Christ loved us first. He is the reason we love others. 

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