February 22, 2014

A Matter of The Heart

This post is very hard to write for me because I know it can be easily misunderstood and taken as me condemning people. I want neither. I am simply writing something that God as placed on my heart and my concern for Christian generations lacking in striving for holiness. I write this so we know what to pray for generations to come because it is only an uphill battle from here.

I have a concern for Christians who are saving themselves for marriage. There is this game I am noticing among those who decide to not have sex until marriage.

I don't want to get all crazy and say stop dating, it's not right, blah, blah, blah. Because I don't believe that. There is absolutely nothing wrong with dating. But I do believe there is something wrong with dating when you don't stand with your brother or sister in Christ and strive for holiness in Christ. The game I am noticing though is these people selling themselves and inciting others. With social media as a main source of communication amongst people, it has also become a source for seeking to understand their beauty. This looks like pictures that are clearly intentional in getting comments about ones body or posing in a way that is more (I hesitate saying this, but..) sexual. Writing comments that are not aligned with God's heart.

So who are these people selling themselves you ask? The ones who seek out confidence in others. The ones whose identity is not in Christ and needs to know what others think. The ones who need to fit in and do not want to be different or set apart. The ones who seek relationships or acknowledgment from the opposite sex. The ones who give almost everything away to the World accept their virginity (because that's for the "wedding night"). Is it possible that our view of purity before marriage has become this tangible thing, that as long as we save their virginity until marriage everything else is okay?

Please don't misunderstand me. There are not universal rules regarding purity. It needs to be the conviction of the Lord. I have a boyfriend and for our relationship, we personally decided what purity looks like for us. We both had boundaries and rules for ourselves prior to dating, but once we started dating we set our boundaries personal to us, with marriage in mind. It is the choice between the couple or the individual person to choose where their boundaries stand (if they choose to set them.) But I believe this to be a matter of the heart.

I speak to the women:
I become concerned when these women are posing these pictures or making comments that may be causing others to stumble or lose sight of the Lord. I see girls taking these pictures of themselves and all I see is them giving a piece of themselves away. And at what cost? The cost of themselves. But ultimately nothing. They get nothing in return. No approval from the Lord. No blessing from the Lord. All they receive is an addiction to rid themselves of this emptiness. I think the core of this issue is beauty. Women trying to find out if they are beautiful or not.

They believe that they are what they make themselves to be. But that completely discounts who they are in the Lord. Can you imagine creating something with everything you have in you and being so proud of what you made? Being so proud of this creation, you decide to make every single one unique. Not one is the same. But this creation decides they do not like how they were created. They do not want to function the way they were created to function. They strive to make themselves different, completely disconnecting themselves from the Creator. Can you imagine the pain that this Creator experiences? His creation is functioning in a way it was never created to function. His creation will never reach its full potential unless in works in the way it was created to work. His creation will never look beautiful enough in their eyes, even though He poured everything into it. He believes His creation is beautiful because He created it to be beautiful.

Psalm 139

Women, please stop seeking approval and praise from friends (guy or girl) because you will leave feeling empty every single time. Please stop luring men into your traps. Lift them up and encourage them in their faith rather than distract them from their faith. If you want to be the best friend you can be, then stop tempting them with your false lies about beauty. That approval will last for only so long.   Please stop believing that you are not beautiful, according to the world. The world lies. We are separate from the world and we are in Christ. God poured everything into you. You are beautiful.

Men, stop partnering in women towards the distraction of your faith. Instead of encouraging women and proclaiming their outward beauty, speak to the heart. Men have so much power in women's live. Men, you can tell women they are beautiful. But don't do it when they are selling themselves and seeking approval. That only teaches women that they are beautiful when they give the world what they want. Tell woman they are beautiful when they are having a hard day and think they look horrible. Because when we do that, we discount outward beauty and speak to the beauty at heart. Our appearance should not reflect our beauty. God's view of our beauty does not change. Men, speak to women's worth in the Lord. Stand as leaders and teach girls who they are in Christ, through speaking truth to them about their beauty.

As Christians, we need to stand together supporting and encouraging our brothers and sisters in Christ. This means holding each other accountable and pushing each other towards Christ's heart and Truth.